Hello America: Unfuck Yourselves

Unfuck yourselves. Seriously. Please.
Unfuck yourselves. Seriously. Please.

So what are you using to wash away this shithole day?

Illustration for article titled So what are you using to wash away this shithole day?

I am drinking boxed white wine out of a coffee mug. I get a box, always, because I can't finish a bottle in one sitting (rather, I shouldn't and the Mr. doesn't really drink wine). I found this brand on sale at my local grocery store for $9 - yes $9. I've never had it before but it just tastes like standard, not-offensive wine.

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The coffee mug is because I can no longer have wine glasses near my computer. I thought it was amusing because it says "coffee" on it. Fun fact: if you have shitty wine that you don't really *need* a glass for, the mug temperature controls it much better than a stupid wine glass. Plus, when you are half-blind, it's much easier to see for depth-perception related issues.

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What you see all over my desk there is paint and old glitter. I accidentally figured out, after I put a clear coat on my desk, that because of the humidity in my area it sucks up the glitter, and it doesn't get everywhere! I'm going to patent this glitter-sticking surface. Well, I guess, now one of you is going to patent it since I just told you and am lazy.

What are you doing to unwind? [Doesn't have to be booze, I know].

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